Snips And Snails And Platypus Tails
by CrystalSlashlover
Summary: A three-shot made for deviant art: Perry the Platypus's ultimate weakness, A Ball, one more to come! DoofenshmirtzxPerry! WOOT! First to get a slash fic in this category! Slash Yaoi reference to FlapJack. Do. Not. Own
1. Chapter 1

**Snips And Snails And Platypus Tails**

It was a normal day in the Flynn-Fletcher household… currently anyway. Linda was just heading out to meet her gal pals; Lawrence had already headed off to work; Candace was talking to Stacy on her cell phone about Jeremy; and Phineas and Ferb were relaxing against the large oak tree in the back yard. With a platypus. Named Perry.

Currently, the platypus was patiently waiting for the youngest in his host family to direct their attention away from him for about… ten seconds, or a minute. Either would be fine, really. As long as they were looking at each other and facing away from him.

"Ferb, I know what we're gonna do today!" Phineas exclaimed. Ah, his chance! The blank faced Platypus glanced to the boys, making sure they weren't looking, before he waddled off, turning the corner of the house. As he waddled to his destination, Perry mentally chuckled as the sound of the shorter of the boys asked,

"Hey, where's Perry?" as he usually did. He suddenly stopped, seeming frozen, before he suddenly stood up on his hind legs and whipped out a detective hat from no where, placing it on his head, the blank stare turning into one of intensity. Reaching out, he stomped on the ground two times, and was gone, zipping down the underground tubes.

Now, you might have thought, 'Hey! That's not a normal platypus!'. And if you did, you'd be right. Perry the platypus isn't an average platypus, but an agent called, Agent P. that works for a secret agency that only has animals for agents. Why this is, we'll never know.

As Perry went down, he yawned, patting his bill in a bored manner. He had gone through this, and many other means of transportation to the main communication chambers. And it was getting old. After all, he had been doing this since… Since Phineas and Ferb were _toddlers_. They were in Elementary School now.

He blinked as he was suddenly covering by something, glancing down at the clothes, ones reminiscent of what a secret agent would wear.

'Well… This is new' he thought, before he landed in the large chair that was facing away from a large monitor. The momentum caused him to spin around to face it, his paws having accidentally come together in an acute arch.

"Nice entrance, Agent P!" the man on the screen, Dr. Monogram exclaimed, giving the platypus a thumbs up and winking. "Hey! Give me one of those sounds you always make around your host family!" Perry raised an eye ridge in question. "Oh come on! It'll be wicked cool!" the human insisted, making Perry sigh, before he obliged, making a short, growly sound. His eyes widened in surprise as Dr. Monogram squealed girlishly, before he fell back, his unshaved legs up in the air, apparently wearing yellow boxers today.

"Sir!" Carl exclaimed, rushing up to the screen and looking confused as well as worried.

'….What goes on in that human's head?' Perry wondered, feeling a little freaked out. "Um… Well, it seems he's kind of…" Carl glanced as the man. "Incapacitated, so I'll just… I don't actually KNOW what the assignment was, but I'm sure Sir would say, 'You've got to stop Dr. Doofenshmirtz, Agent P! Good luck!" Carl called after the platypus as he rushed off, having torn off the suit and now very much against clothes forever.

**DxP~DxP~DxP~DxP**

_**Doofenshmirtz Evil Incorperateeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!**_

Perry mentally groaned.

'Must they play that _every_ time?' he questioned in his head, landing his hover car on the edge of the tall building, and disembarking the vessel and straightening his hat. Carefully, he opened the window and peeked in, making sure no one was there, before he slipped in and hopped down the boxes conveniently there until he landed on the floor, one paw on said surface and the other on his knee.

As he was about to walk forward, he sighed as he was suddenly whipped up into a net.

"Haha! You fell right into my trap, Perry the Platypus!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz snickered, walking right up to him and poking his nose against the other's bill, earning a glare.

'Why does he always do that?' he growled inwardly, baring his harmless teeth.

"Scowl all you want, but that's not going to get you free mister!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz scolded, waving a finger in the other's face. "Anyway, my eeeeevil plan!" he cackled, turning away from the other. "When I was younger, my mother always gave all the sweets to my goody-two-shoes brother, remember that song?" he questioned, smiling, before he continued to rant. "And never to ME. Which was terrible because, I really liked sweets back then! So, I made-" he cut himself off as he pulled a large sheet from what it was covering, to reveal- "The Getting-Back-At-Goody-Two-Shoes-Brotheranator!!!" he exclaimed, making Perry sigh. It always had to end with 'ator', didn't it?

"What it will do," the Dr. began, as Perry started to bite his way out of the net. "is make all the mothers think that the good kids are _too_ good, and therefore give whatever they were going to give to them to the _bad_ kids!" he continued, cackling, only to blink as Perry pushed the machine off the balcony. "What?! How did you-" his eyes widened as Perry jumped onto the railing, saluting the Dr. easily.

'Love'd to stay and beat you up, but I'd like to go back home soon and just relax' he thought, turning his back to the other and about to jump, when his tail was yanked, and he ended up dangling in front of the other's face.

'OW!' he thought, struggling to get away. 'That hurts you-'

"Ha-ha!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, smirking. "Now I've got you… by the tail!" he finished, earning a harsh glare. "What? Come on! It's funny!" he insisted, his fingers absently moving in the wrong direction on the tail, making Perry's spine snap straight, his eyes widening.

Dr. Doofenshmirtz blinked, letting his other hand come up to stroke the tail lightly, causing the same, distasteful effect.

"Wow! Your tail is _furry_?!" he exclaimed in astonished excitement. "I always thought with how hard it slapped my face it was rubbery!" he laughed, before he caught Perry by surprise again as he was suddenly laid down in the other's arms. He tried to get out of the grasp, about to try and growl at the other, when a tingle rushed up his spine as slender fingers stroked his tail in the _right_ direction.

His eyes widened, his muscles trembling, before he came back to himself and shook his head.

'What was that?' he questioned himself, before it happened again, the tingle increasing as the aristocrat fingers buried into the fur on his tail, making his nerve endings shiver, his face pinkening slightly.

"You know, it kind of reminds me of a squirrel's tail!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz reflected. "I only know, because one attacked me once and I accidentally touched it's tail… which led to more biting and scratching, which led to rabies shots…" he ranted. Meanwhile, Perry's breathing as slowed, his eyes half lidded as he gave into the gentle touch of the Dr. He knew he was going to kill himself for this later, but, right now…

'It feels so good…' he thought, finally closing his eyes and sighing.

"…And _then_ there was that incident with that dog, Only Son, and-" Dr. Doofensmirtz paused at the small rubbing/vibration against his chest. "Hm?" he glanced down, his brows furrowing at the sight of Perry the Platypus rubbing his head up against his chest, hearts floating above his head, and almost emitting a kind of… was that a purr? "Uhm… Perry the Platypus… What are you doing?" he questioned, stopping the petting and pulling the animal away from him, confused.

His confusion rose when the other whined and swished his tail. The man stared at the semi-aquatic mammal, before he stared at the hearts above his head.

"…Are those blood knats?" he questioned, raising an eyebrow, only for his hair to stand up on end at the loud purr Perry the Platypus emitted, his eyes almost pleading to him for something…

"…Do you… want me to pet you?" he questioned, after staring at him for a full minute, maybe more, at the quick nod, he smirked evilly. "Well, well, well… So, Perry the Platypus, I have finally found your weakness…" he snickered.

'Yeah, yeah, just pet me already!' Perry thought, his tails swishing under him. "_Petting_ would not have been my first guess but…" he then smirked, pressing his nose to the other's bill. "It'll do."

Perry blinked, a little confused as his brain tried to clear the fog from his mind, before it settled back into place and fingers delicately carded through the fur on his tail, making him purr in pleasure.

'Yes…' he thought, closing his eyes and slumping in the other's arms. He then tensed as the hand was lifted, only an inch or so away from his tail, making him whine again.

"Awww, did you want me to keep petting your tail, Perry the Platypus?" Dr. Doofenshmirtz cooed, making Perry whimper again. "Well… You'll have to do something for me." He smirked, letting a figner trail down the animal's tail, making him shiver and nod.

'Right! Yes! Of course!' he thought.

"And you can't go back on it- _ever_." He insisted, and smiled when the agent nodded wildly. "Alright! I want you to leave me alone for a week! And let me do at least ONE evil plot! If you do… You'll get even more petting! Every week! How does that sound?" he questioned, letting his hand run over the silken soft fur of the animal's tail, making Perry purr loudly, hearts popping and bobbing lazily above his head. "I'll take that as a yes… And you should really get those blood knats checked out, Perry the Platypus." He insisted as he walked over to a chair and sat down, setting the semi-aquatic mammal into his lap, before he began to pet the other's tail once more, making the platypus rub up against his abdomen and purr, the hearts bobbing gently.

'I love having a nemesis…' Perry thought, arching into the gentle caress.

**DxP~DxP~DxP~DxP~DxP~DxP~DxP~DxP**

When Phineas looked over his shoulder, he blinked at the sight of the usually blank face Perry approaching, his eyes darting two and fro, his face completely pink.

"Hey! There's Perry, and something's wrong." He told Ferb, his brows furrowed, turning away from their latest project, and not seeing as a machine fell onto the device, crushing both of the machines into dust… for some reason. They both walked up to the platypus, and kneeled in front of him.

"What d'you thinks wrong with him?" Phineas asked, gently rubbing the platypus's head. Silence rang between them, before Ferb answered,

"Perhaps he's fallen in love?" their answer was received as Perry's face darkened and his eyes widened.

'Wh-what?!' he thought, disbelief ringing true.

"Woow! How serendipitous!" Phineas rejoiced, picking up the animal and swinging him around. "Good for you, Perry! I bet he/she is perfect for you!"

"He or she?" Ferb questioned silently, making Phineas glance over his shoulder.

"Yeah! I mean, it's possible right?" Phineas questioned, making Perry's face darken as they continued to talk.

'No way am I in love with that moron!' he chattered, before he stared at the ground, his tail swishing slightly. 'What kind of agent bends to their nemesis's will just from _petting_… well, except Agent D, but he's an idiot'


	2. Ode To A Silly Dress

**Ode To A Silly Dress**

**(Also considered the Sequel to Snips, Snails, and Platypus Tails)**

"Oh come _on_, Perry the Platy- Er, I mean, Perry the Human, it's not that bad!" whined a tall brunet through a closed door. A growl came from the other side of the door, making the man flinch. "You _have_ to understand! I _had_ to hit you with my newest creation, the Huminator!" this was answered by a low hiss. "_Please_ Perry the Human! Find it in your half human, half platypus heart to help me!" the man practically sobbed, falling to his knees and covering his face.

After a few seconds of silence, the door creaked open, brown eyes intent on the spiky brown head below. Teeth were gritted for a moment, before the boy made a slight sound, alerting the man to the other. He glanced up at the other, his eyes alighting with hope.

"Are… Are you going to help?"

"… Ah." Which most likely meant, 'Maybe yes maybe no'

"O-okay. So hear me out." The man, a Dr., started, his hands raising up gently. "Every year, I'm forced to go to a family reunion. And it's always _so _boring. Everyone always avoids me and its kind of depressing. And after such a long time-I think ten years-I finally figured out why!" he explained, the teal haired boy staring down at him in boredom. "Everyone had someone accompanying them! Even my cousin, Ronaldo, had someone with him. And that was a shocker! So, I thought, 'Hey! Why don't I make a Humanifier and change Perry the Platypus into Perry the Human?!' And here we are!" he exclaimed, smiling up at the teen. "So, Perry the now Human, will you accompany me to my family reunion as my… Date?" the Dr. asked, smiling and holding up a hand to the brown eyed youth.

He stared back blankly for a moment, before his eyes narrowed darkly, his cheeks darkening considerably, before the door slammed again, making the man curse under his breath and then whine.

"It's not asking a lot!!!!"

Inside the room, the boy was staring down at himself, gritting his teeth once more, his canines longer than that of the average human for some reason. Platypuses don't have sharp teeth. But, this was Doofenshmirtz so… His blush darkened at the thought of the Dr.'s name in his head-and it wasn't because he loved him! It wasn't! It really, really wasn't!-, before he shook said appendage and lifted a hand to instinctively brush back a lock of hair that had gotten into his face. He then looked down at himself again and narrowed his eyes. Human skin. Pale and smooth and so… alien to him.

Nothing felt right. Nothing felt… in place. He lowered his hand to his stomach, letting a thumb skate against the skin. So different from his usual, teal skin, and it made a slight, prickling, but not unpleasant sensation rise when his stomach was stroked. Perhaps he was ticklish as a human?

His hand froze as the Dr. started pleading through the door again. His eyes narrowed once more. Who did that moron think he was? Turning him, Agent P, into a human? And then- asking him on a date? He only knew the definition thanks to Candace's rantings of Jeremy this, and Jeremy that, but still! The nerve! He growled darkly, knowing the other had heard him at the slight squeak he heard, making him smirk slightly.

"Come on! I-I'll-" there was a pause. "I'll reveal your secret to your family!" Perry froze.

"N-na?" he stuttered, meaning 'W-what?'

"Yes, Perry the Human." Perry could just _hear_ the smirk. "I'll tell them you're a spy! And even if they think I'm over reacting, you'll be taken away by that over reactive boss of yours!"

Perry's eyes were wide as he listened to this, his heart, now human, pounding in his chest. Tell… tell his family? Tell them what he truly was? Lose Phineas? Ferb? Candance? Linda? Lawrence?

'No…' Perry thought, his breath quick as he stared at the ceiling. 'Not them… not… not… My family… I… they…'

"Weeeell?" the croon made Perry snap out of his daze, his back straightening, blinking his eyes quickly.

'Pull it together, Perry!' he snapped at himself. 'You must do what you must!' he then turned to the door and opened the door enough so that he could see the Dr. and vise versa.

"Mm." he said, nodding slightly and watching as the evilly smiling bad guy brightened, hopping to his feet.

"Marvelous! I can't wait till everyone sees!" he said happily, blue eyes sparkling merrily. Perry stared up into those eyes, his own narrowed, before he began to step out of the room.

"Gah! P-perry the- W-wait a moment, please!" Dr. Doofenshmirtz exclaimed, laying his hands on Perry's shoulders and looking away. "Y-you can't go walking around, willy nilly with no clothes on!" Perry looked down at himself, naked and free for all to see, before he looked back to the Dr. with a raised brow, huffing slightly and earning blue eyes to his own.

'And why not? I hear some humans do that kinds of stuff.' He thought, staring up defiantly into the other's eyes. After a moment, the other spun away, clearing his throat.

"I'll… I'm going to get something for you, alright? J-just stay here!" and with that, he was off.

Perry watched him rush away, before he moved back into the room and sat down on the carpeted floor, sighing and clunking his head against the wall.

'What has this moron forced me into?'

**HD**

"Mother, Father." Dr. Doofenshmirtz, or Heinz, greeted, earning a slight smile from the woman and a frown from the man.

"Heinz… Heinz… _Mein Liebling_(1). How are you?" she questioned, making the Dr. smile back.

"_Ja mamma. I-_"

"_Couldn't get a girl? Again?_" his father snickered, making Heinz pause. "_Why can't you be like your brother? Or my dog, only son?_" he complained, making Heinz fume.

"_Lieb(2)_." His mother whispered, glancing around at everyone else, but did not disagree with what Heinz's father had said.

'Same as always…' Heinz thought, before he cleared his throat as his watch went off, he must have arrived by now.

"_Actually… I got someone_." Heinz said, making his father raise and incredulous brow.

"_Oh? Where is the girl, then_?" he replied. Heinz fumbled a bit, looking around, then up at the ceiling.

'Please don't enter from there, Perry the Platypus…'

"_Uh… Sh-she is…_" it was then that the doors at the top of the staircase opened, and Heinz relaxed, closing his eyes and gesturing towards the doors, not even bothering to look. "_There!_"

He blinked when they gasped.

"_**Her?!**_" they exclaimed in unison. Heinz's brows furrowed.

"_What?_" he questioned, looking to the staircase, only to freeze at the sight staring down curiously at the ball room.

He had left Perry with instructions on how to get here and the Ballgowninator so he could choose his own dress, knowing that every dress in the thing was suitable to his family's tastes- but he didn't expect it to look so… so… _good_ on the platypus turned human. Nor that he would actually take off his hat and do something with his hair.

He had chosen one of his mother's favorites. Thin white straps were tied behind the boy's neck, the top of the dress adorned with black trim, ruffles laying flatly where the chest would be. Around the waist, the delicate fabric curved and laid against the thin frame snugly, the rest poofing around the other like a rose, giving the impression of innocence, even if it ended just above the knees. And the fact that brown, perceptive eyes darted about the place, observing, soft features framed by just barely shoulder length hair with black barrets. Such a difference from when the hair was tucked up mostly under the hat.

"_Sh-she is out of his league_!" whispered his father quickly, seeming as breathless as he. "_You're lying_." It was then that brown met blue, and the boy on the steps straightened, before he made his decent in his pretty white shoes down the staircase.

"_Arnost, she is coming this way_." His mother said, most likely still looking at the boy descending the stairs. "_Heinz isn't lying_."

"_I-impossible_!" his father gasped. Soon, it seemed too soon to Heinz, for Perry had been so far away, the boy was trying to slipping through a few of his relatives who ignored him.

Heinz watched him for a moment, before he found himself smiling slightly. It was… cute? Yes, cute that the other couldn't get through. He stepped forward and took Perry's hand, pulling the boy to him, and accidentally against him.

"_There you are._." He said to the other, the boy's face hidden in his chest. "_You had me worried._" He admitted, only to have Perry raise his head, looking confused and slightly angry.

'Right… He can't understand me.' He thought.

"Thank goodness you're here. I was getting worried you wouldn't show." He whispered, pulling away and turning Perry and himself around to face his parents. "Mother, Father, this is, Perry Flynn-Fletcher." He introduced. "My… girlfriend." He said after a moment, feeling Perry bristle under his hands.

"Ah… Hallo, Perry." His mother managed. "Welcome to our (3)_partei_." Perry nodded in response, earning a puzzled look from Heinz's mother. He cleared his throat.

"Perry has a sore throat, Mother." Heinz lied, the confusion wiping away from the woman's face. Perry nodded, having already agreed on that being the story of why he wasn't talking.

"Oh, I see… I'm Adala Doofenshmirtz." she said, before she elbowed her husband in the side, making him snap his mouth shut. "_Lieb_, introduce us."

"Ah? Oh! Ja, ja…" the man muttered, before he cleared his throat. "Arnost Doofenshmirtz."

"Ah." Perry uttered quietly. Heinz laughed nervously, before he coughed.

"Well… this… is awkward."

"It seems so!" Heinz froze at the voice, whipping around and letting go of Perry in the process, his blue eyes wide as he stared at his slightly taller brother. "Hello, brother."

"Roderick…" Heinz growled, his fists clenching tightly.

"Ah, such hostility, Heinz?" he chuckled, looking over his head, his eyes sparking in a way that made Heinz nervous.

"You brought someone this year?"

"Yes. I did." Heinz said defiantly, hearing Perry move so that he was beside him, his brother's eyes following. "Looks like _you_ don't have one." Heinz gloated, only to be ignored. "Hey!"

"_Hallo my fair beauty_." Heinz's eyes widened at his brother's words, watching in utter shock as he took Perry's hand, who looked confused, his brows furrowing. "_It is a pleasure to meet such a delicate flower._" He then slid his eyes to Heinz. "_Too bad you have to wither under the darkness of my brother._" Heinz's face burned red in outrage, before he snatched Perry's wrist, ignoring his father's laughs.

"_Get your hands off Perry!_" he spat, holding the boy up against him possessively. "_He- Uh, she is mine! Not yours!_" he stuttered, glaring harshly at his Goody Two Shoes Brother.

**AP**

"N-na? M-me-" Perry struggled out, probably saying something like, 'Wh-what? L-let-', trying to get out of Dr. Doofenshmirtz's grip, only to be pulled against his chest, a hand burying into Perry's hair and petting gently. Almost immediately, Perry's bones melted, his legs shivering underneath him at the feel of long fingers carding through his hair. It seemed that, as a human, his head was also his weakness… Ah, what did he care?

Perry purred with the attention, turning his head to nuzzle Dr. Doofenshmirtz's suit, spicy cologne hitting his nose.

"(4)_Sachejunge… Beruhigen Sie unten und entspannen Sie sich, gut_?" the Dr. whispered in his ear, the german making Perry's spine tingle for some reason. And why didn't he speak in English? Well, whatever reason, it didn't really matter, did it? Not as long as he kept petting him like that…

'_Ooooh… _right there…' he thought, craning his neck and bumping his hand against the Dr.'s hand.

"Heinz, your (5)_Bruder_ was just joking! No need to overreact!" the Dr.'s mother exclaimed.

"(6)_Uberragieren Sie? Überreagieren Sie?!_"

'Hmm… It seems he speaks in his native language when he's angry…' Perry observed dazedly, closing his eyes, little hearts slowly appearing above his head.

"_Er setzte die Bewegungen auf Perry, Mutter!_"

"You are an idiot. Stop trying to bring shame to your Bruder."

"(7)…_Fein. Glauben Sie nicht, was vor Ihren Augen ist._" Suddenly, the hand was gone from his head and he was dragged through the crowds, the Dr. muttering under his breath.

Perry blinked, staring blankly at the passing people for a minute, before he growled.

'Damnit! He did it again!' he thought, glaring up at the Dr., only to gasp and lose his glare as the other suddenly halted, his blue eyes laid on the ground.

"…Ah?" Perry questioned, making the Dr.'s eyes widen, before he looked to the young teenage platypus.

"Nothing, Perry." He said, smiling at him, though Perry could tell something was wrong.

"Tu." He scoffed, which probably meant something like, 'Right. I _completely_ believe that'. Doofenshmirtz seemed to get the gist of it. The smile he gave seemed more black that white.

"We shouldn't be talking about this nonsense. I should be showing you a good time."

"Ne?" Perry uttered, which probably meant, 'Really? I thought that, as your nemesis, I wasn't allowed to.', blinking in confusion.

"Come, let's go get something to eat, Perry." Doofenshmirtz said, before he began to lead Perry through the crowd of people, said platypus turned human realizing that the other had stuck with simply, Perry, and had not added on 'the Human' or 'the Platypus'.

'Why does that make me feel… empty?' he thought, before, quite suddenly, he found a strawberry in his face.

"Come now, open wide." Doofenshmirtz urged, smiling as if it wasn't odd to be offering your enemy a strawberry right in front of his mouth. Perry eyed the strawberry, wondering if he could eat it now that he was human…

"Oh come on! It's not going to kill you!" with that, the strawberry was pushed against his lips and into his mouth, his instincts making him bite and chew.

'Hey!' he thought, glaring as he chewed, only to stop as he realized that it tasted… good. Very good in fact. He swallowed and was silent for a moment, before he looked around, made sure no one was watching, then, with a blush, raised a hand and pointed at his mouth, opening it again, making a small noise.

He puffed out his cheeks as the other smirked. So he was fully recovered from his sadness, huh?

"Oh? Would you like more?" he chuckled, before he brought another strawberry to Perry's lips, this time with whipped cream on it. "Try this. It'll make it taste even better, trust me."

'Trust my nemesis?' Perry thought, even as he bit into the strawberry. 'How unthinkable.' However, the strawberry did taste even better. His tongue darted out to lick at a remnant of whipped cream, his eyes alight with excitement at the sweet flavor.

"Another, Perry?" Doofenshmirtz asked, looking amused. Perry gave a nod, watching as the strawberry came towards him, before he leaned forward 10% and bit into it, pulling back and making a pleasured sound. He had eaten almost the whole thing this time, and the slightly sour flavor at the base made his taste buds tingle. "Woah! Slow down there!" laughed Doofenshmirtz, before he offered Perry a whole plate, a few sauces on it as well. "Here."

With his eyes sparkling, Perry took the plate and lifted a strawberry, before he looked quizzically at the Dr.

"What?" he questioned. Perry motioned the strawberry he was holding at the sauces he didn't recognize. "Oh! Well, the brown one is chocolate. And the light goldish one if caramel." He explained. Perry nodded in thanks, before he sampled the sauces.

**HD**

The rest of the party had passed swimmingly. The others hadn't approached Heinz, though he couldn't care less, really. The evening was spent with his arch nemesis, introducing him to foods, telling him more about his family, and such. Just things that seemed entertaining. But, the odd thing about it, was, as the night went on, he felt as though they were being watched.

So, of course, when someone pulled him to the side, he shouldn't have been surprised. But he was. When he was pulled, he had almost screamed, only for his mouth to be covered as he was dragged behind a pillar.

"(8)M-mutter?!" he hissed, confused as he stared down at his mother. "What-"

"_Heinz,_ _Did you pay her?_" she questioned quietly, looking determinedly at her son. Heinz stared down at her, unsure of what to say.

"…_What_?"

"_If you did, then, I would be fine with it._." She continued. "_No one would blame you_."

"_You_…" Heinz searched her eyes. "_You really think that_… _that I would do that_?" he questioned, pain in his heart.

"Heinz…"

"_Why do you, always think that I can't succeed? That I can't obtain anything unless I bribe or trick?_"

"_Now dear..._"

"_Is it because I am not successful like Roderick? Is it because he is your favorite and I am just the other son that won't amount to anything?_" he ranted, his mother now looking away.

'So… that's it.' he thought, his body shivering with pain.

"_Well... So that is it, huh? I don't live up to your expectations? Well, let me tell you something. She,_" he pointed at Perry, looking confused and lost and very irritated. "_thinks that I live up to her expectations._." He told her, his tone shivery on his tongue. "_We like each other. We see each other every day. We almost always enjoy each other's company. I did not pay her Mother. I would never do that. Because I… Because I…_" Doofenshmirtz trailed off, his heart pounding wildly in his chest, his eyes wide as he stared at the ground. Could it be? No! It was impossible. The consequences he would face! But… if it wasn't that then what…

'Oh god… Heinz, what have you gotten yourself into?' he thought, turning away from his mother and heading to the youth looking for him.

'How could I not have noticed it before?' he asked himself, just reaching Perry as a song started.

"Perry."

________________________________________________________________________

**Es ist nicht mehr so **

**(It is no longer so)**

**Wie es einmal war**

**(As it once was) **

**Wir waglücklich und**

**(We were happy and) **

**So ein schönes Paar **

**(So a beautiful pair)**

**Es gab niemals Streit **

**(There was no dispute)**

**Haben uns blind vertraut**

**(We have blind trusts) **

**Konnten jeden Tag **

**(Could every day)**

**Aufeinander Bauen**

**(Successive build)**

________________________________________________________________________

Perry looked over his shoulder and blinked, before he gave Heinz an irritated look and growled, turning to fully face him.

'How could I…'

"Care to dance?" Heinz questioned, watching as Perry's anger fell and he stared, seeming shocked, at him. After a moment, Perry nodded slightly, before he was pulled to Heinz. "Good."

_______________________________________________________________________

**Ich will doch nur das alles so wird wie es früher war **

**(I just want that everything is as it was before)  
Du mir deine Wärme gibst an jeden Tag in deinem Arm **

**(You give me your heat and every day in you pour)  
Alles was mir von dir bleibt nur in erinnerung **

**(All that remains to me of you, if only memories)  
An die schöne Zeit mit dir .. Sag mir ist sie jetzt um ?**

**(To the lovely time with you... Tell me, is she now?)**

_______________________________________________________________________

Heinz pulled Perry into a gentle sway, their left and right hands holding each other's, while his right laid on Perry's side. Heinz stared down at Perry, his eyes focusing on brown, the words of the song echoing in his head.

'The memories we share...'

_______________________________________________________________________

**Lie - Liebst du mich**

**(Love- Love you me?)**

**Sei Ehrlich.. verlass mich nicht..**

**(Be honest, do not leave me)****  
****Erin - Erinner dich**

**(Remember- Remember you)****  
****An die Zeit zurück**

**(The Time)****  
****Sie War so schön....**

**(She was so beautiful....)**

**________________________________________________________________________**

'Of fighting... of me caging you... Of me finding your weakness... Of you saying that I was evil that time my mentor scorned me... Perry the Platypus...' Heinz watched as Perry looked down at the floor, looking terribly awkward to him. Heinz felt himself smile slightly, before he let the hand on the boy's hip slowly slide down.

**AP**

_______________________________________________________________________

**Sag.. Kannst du dich erinnern ?! **

**(Say you can remember)****  
****An die alten Tage.. ?! **

**(In the old days)****  
****Wo wir nachts noch wach waren**

**(Where we will still awake at night)****  
****und bei einander lagen. **

**(And both were together togther)****  
****Es hat sich viel verändert **

**(There a lot has changed)****  
****du stehst nicht zu mir **

**(You are not with me)****  
****Hast du einen andern ?! **

**(Do you have another?!)****  
****Was ist mit dir Passiert ?!**

**(What is happening with him?!)**

**________________________________________________________________________**

Perry's gaze snapped up from the floor at the feel of the descending hand, sliding down, down, making his body tingle in alertness, the hand slipping in between the folds of the skirt, the other's fingers expertly touching the base of his tail and rubbing there gently.

Without his consent, his cheek reddened and he found himself leaning into the other, burying his face into the soft fabric of the other's suit.

"Nn…" he murmured, his movements more lax as Doofenshmirtz let his fingers slowly travel along the tail covered by the thin fabric of his dress. "Ah-…"

'This is so much better as a human...' Perry thought, hearts popping into existence at a particularly good rub. "Mn…"

**Ich will doch nur das alles so wird wie es früher war **

**(I just want that everything is as it was before)  
Du mir deine Wärme gibst an jeden Tag in deinem Arm **

**(You give me your heat and every day in you pour)  
Alles was mir von dir bleibt nur in erinnerung **

**(All that remains to me of you, if only memories)  
An die schöne Zeit mit dir .. Sag mir ist sie jetzt um ?**

**(To the lovely time with you... Tell me, is she now?)**

**________________________________________________________________________**

"Ma…" Perry whined happily, if that was possible, his free hand clutching into Doofenshmirtz's suit. This feeling was so much different when he was a platypus. The feeling now, like a burning in his stomach, twisting, writing, was so new and odd.

The Dr. shushed in his ear, making shudders run up and down his spine.

"Shush..." he crooned, his voice soothing, making Perry purr in pleasure. The touch he received, so soft and caring and careful, made his heart race wildly.

**Lie - Liebst du mich**

**(Love- Love you me?)**

**Sei Ehrlich.. verlass mich nicht..**

**(Be honest, do not leave me)****  
****Erin - Erinner dich**

**(Remember- Remember you)****  
****An die Zeit zurück**

**(The Time)****  
****Sie War so schön....**

**(She was so beautiful....)**

**It was kind of like an overly mushy part that he saw in his stories. He really needed to get some free time to watch them.**

**'I wonder if he likes Soap Operas...' he wondered absently, inhaling the other's cologne again, the gentle rubbing making him sigh and purr and gasp as they swayed to the music. He wondered what it was saying...**

**HD**

**_________________________________________________________________________**

**Oh Girl ich hab dir doch gesagt**

**(Oh girl, I've told you)  
Das es nicht einfach wird**

**(That it is not easy)  
Wenn sich zwei Menschen soo sehr lieben, wie wir**

**(If you people love see much as we)  
Doch ich hab jeden Tag gehofft**

**(But every day I have hoped)  
Das es niemals passiert**

**(That it never happened)  
Das du nicht kämpfen kannst**

**(That you can not fight)  
Und ich nicht verlier**

**(And I do not lose)  
_________________________________________________________________________**

**Heinz mentally snorted. **

**'How many times have I thought that?' he wondered to himself. 'For him to give up. To either join me or perish a terrible doom?' he thought, letting his hand slide from the folds of the fabric and re situate itself on Perry's curved hip. **

**A lot of things shouldn't be possible. Like, how an animal could be a secret agent. Or, how a male could have curves. But what should be ****_especially_**** impossible, was what he was feeling, what he realized he'd felt all along.**

**He watched as Perry blinked, before he glared up at him, his cheeks dark with embarrassment, brown eyes shining with annoyance and humiliation.**

**"Don't be embarrassed." he whispered, smiling slyly at the boy. Perry, in response, scowled and turned his head away, though he kept it up against Heinz's chest. This made Heinz smile softly.**

**Perhaps Perry the Platypus felt it too? What a relief it would be if he did... With a gentle movement, he was spinning with Perry, the platypus turned human forced to take his head from Heinz's chest as a result. A spot light shone down on them, a cliché way to express love, Heinz was sure. But, it was appreciated all the same.**

**_________________________________________________________________________**

**Lie - Liebst du mich**

**(Love- Love you me?)**

**Sei Ehrlich.. verlass mich nicht..**

**(Be honest, do not leave me)****  
****Erin - Erinner dich**

**(Remember- Remember you)****  
****An die Zeit zurück**

**(The Time)****  
****Sie War so schön....**

**(She was so beautiful....)  
_________________________________________________________________________**

**'What I'm feeling for you, what you're making me do, how you scowl, how you trick, how you smile at me, with me, for me...' Heinz thought, closing his eyes. 'Like no one else has ever done, like no one else will probably do...' tears welled in his eyes. 'God, please tell me, you do too... feel this connection?'**

**AP**

**Perry watched as a pained, look filled the Dr.'s face, making him furrow his eyebrows. What was wrong with him?**

**"Na?" he murmured, watching as the other opened his eyes. They stared at each other as they danced. **

**_________________________________________________________________________**

**Leibst du mich sag (x7)**

**(Do you love me? Tell me)  
Liebst du mich**

**(Do you love me?)  
Liebst du mich sag (x7)**

**(Do you love me? Tell me)**

**_________________________________________________________________________**

**After a moment, Doofenshmirtz leaned forward and whispered, softly, almost tearfully,**

**"****_Leibst du mich sag?_****" in time with the song, except only once, before he continued. "(9)****_Erkläre mir, Sie liebe mich?_****" the words, quiet and desperate, made Perry's heart pound. He knew the other was saying something important. It had to be. "****_Perry, ist es so falsch… Was ich glaube… Es ist nicht recht. Es ist nicht. Ich weiß, dass es ist nicht, aber noch… Ich kann ihm nicht helfen, weil I…_****" Perry could feel the Dr. shaking. His own cheeks were darkening at this intimate moment, the man, the human, almost sobbing on his now human shoulder, holding him so close, whispering german in his ear, using him as almost a life line. "****_Weil I…_****"**

**Before he could finish, Perry found his hand in the Dr.'s hair, rubbing soothingly.**

**"Nn." he murmured, pressing his cheek to the other's. He had seen Linda do this to Candace when she was younger, less independent. But, it felt like so much more than a family embrace, or a friend embrace. There... it... There was no way to describe the feeling in his chest as he comforted the man, shushing to him as he had done before, except for different reasons.**

**'I'm here...' he thought, cooing sounds into the other's ear. 'I'm here. I'll support you. I'll hold you up, Dr. I will, I promise. You're my nemisis. My one and only one. I will****_ never_**** let you go. I will always be here. Always. Because I... we... You...' his cheeks darkened and he closed his eyes, shutting them tight. 'Phineas... you were right... I... I...'**

**It was then, somehow, someway, their lips were together, pressing desperately, urgently against one another's, realization clear in each other's hearts as they held on tight.**

**Liebst du mich...**

**(Do you love me...)**

**Narrarator**

**Phineas was wringing his hands together wildly, staring out the window, Ferb sitting beside him, staring down at the yard. It was so late, so dreadfully late, and Perry wasn't back yet. He usually came a little bit before or after their project disappeared.**

**"Perry... Ferb what are we going to do?" Phineas whispered, tears welling in his eyes, the usually brave boy starting to break down at the thought of losing their beloved pet.**

**With a gentle motion, Ferb and an arm full of Phineas, the slightly pointy headed boy whining into his chest. Ferb's usually blank expression morphed into sadness, staring down at his brother's red hair and gulping. Perry would be back soon. He knew it. Perry, though a platypus, was like him, mysterious. He probably did things they couldn't even fathom, and was simply running late on one of his tasks.**

**He looked out the window and paused a moment, before he blinked, the blank look returning. He tapped Phineas and motioned to the window, telling his brother all he needed to know.**

**"P-perry?" Phineas stuttered, a smile spreading on his lips, before he quickly dragged Ferb and himself down the stairs, through the kitchen, and to the back yard.**

**"Perry!" he cried, tackling the little platypus, and hugging him tightly. "We're so glad you're home, buddy!" he cheered, before he pulled the platypus away from him and blinked at the sight of the semi-aquatic mammal looking dazed and flushed.**

**"...Oh! I get it!" Phineas suddenly burst out. "You were with your special friend again! And it looks like it was a success!" Phineas chirped, standing with Perry in his arms and showing him to Ferb. "Right, Ferb?"**

**"... Do you think it's a boy or a girl?" Ferb questioned, making Phineas hum to himself, his previous sadness completely gone.**

**"Well... by the swoony way he's acting... I think it's a boy! Because that's how Candace looked when she fawned over Jeremy!" Phineas decided.**

**"So no platypups then?" Ferb queried. Phineas frowned, before he smiled.**

**"Oh, we can do something about that, I'm sure.****  
**

(1)- Mein Leibling: My darling. It can be mistaken as favorite

(2)- Lieb: Dear

(3)- Party

(4)- Good boy… Calm down and relax, alright?

(5)- Brother

(6)- Overreacting? Overreacting?! He was putting the moves on Perry, Mother

(7)- …Fine. Do not believe what is in front of your own eyes

(8)- Mother

-Tell me, do you love me? Perry, it is so wrong... What I feel... It is not right. It is not. I know it is not, but still... I can not help it because I... Because I...


End file.
